According to ABC, the Furby Boom was the top toy of 2013, but damn that noise. The real hit of that year was Mount Your Friends. Half-naked, sweaty gym kids climbing on top of each other with QWOP precision.
Okay, maybe you won't find it under good old Santa's Christmas tree, but there were plenty of other great games that were a little more family friendly and perfect for the holiday season. Games that aren't nearly as cursed as Furby Boom, which feels like it belongs in Salad Fingers.
Ratchet & Clank: Into the Nexus
2013 finally saw the curtain close on the PS3 era, but when it ended in November to make way for the PS4, Insomniac released the last of the generation's Ratchet & Clank games: Into the Nexus.
This underrated gem brought us back to the main story after a mediocre detour into the tower defense and co-op genres, continuing the still-unresolved cliffhanger of A Crack in Time.
The pair finally used the Dimensioner to reach the Netherverse on a high-stakes rescue mission, and then quickly left 13-year-old James in suspense for what has now been 11 years. But at that moment it was electrifying: Insomniac had finally promised that we would go in search of the Lombax! It was an event, a bold salute to a great generation of games that made me eager for the PS4 even more. Ah, little did I know.
Rayman Legends
After the incredible Rayman Origins, we had Legends. I've always been more of a Raving Rabbids kid, but there's so much charm in the 2D platformers that started it all, even rivaling Mario (is it any wonder the two eventually crossed paths?). If you found Legends under your tree, it means your parents had impeccable taste.
Lego Marvel superheroes
The crème de la crème of Lego games, the still undefeated champion. Need I say anything else?
Assassin's Creed 4: Black Flag
Before the era of role-playing games with Far Cry-style maps, we had good old Assassin's Creed. And one of the best games of that era was Black Flag, which put us in the muddy shoes of Edward Kenway, a ruthless pirate who sailed the West Indies with Blackbeard himself.
Sure, it's rated 18+ for violence and gore, but considering how many of us grew up with this series, I don't think our parents ever really cared. It was also one of the best launch titles for the PS4. I'll be honest, you had to choose between this, Killzone, or Knack. Poor withdrawals…
Grand Theft Auto 5
Speaking of mature games we probably shouldn't have played: GTA 5!
I wasn't a huge GTA fan outside of Vice City, and even then it was mostly for the music. But I vividly remember watching Yogscast play GTA 5, speeding away from Mount Chiliad at breakneck speed, and desperately trying to avoid getting copyright warnings on the radio. But what is most striking is that a friend of mine had serious problems with his parents while playing.
Somehow they managed to convince Mom and Dad to get them a video game focused on drugs and violent crime with lots of foul language. That's fine for a thirteen-year-old, obviously. But when they were caught at 2am sitting in a strip club, that was it. Blowing a pedestrian's brains out? Okay. Strippers? Not even a chance.
The last of us
I'm honestly glad I didn't play it when I was a kid. My dad gave me Dead Space 2 when it came out (I would have been ten) and I had nightmares for weeks. But I had a lot of friends playing The Last of Us when it came out just two years later, and they turned out mostly well, emphasis on most. Joel though? Bad list.
Teskta's robotic puppy
Remember the ads for that creepy robot dog with the dead, soulless eyes? Strangely enough it was the year 2013, with that royalty-free sounding techno music. Well, the Teskta won Toy of the Year for its innovative technology, as it reacts to your actions with barking, crying and even whining, because nothing is as fun as making a robot dog cry loudly.
Honorable Mentions: Battlefield 4, Injustice, Metro: Last Light, Terraria, Mass Effect 3
Saints Row 4
My dad took me to Saints Row with the first game, which I played so much I wore out the disc. But after meeting Carlos and taking a trip to Steelport, I had happily moved on from my scratched, beaten, and battered DVD.
Space, though? It seemed a little far-fetched to me, so I didn't immediately pick up Saints Row 4. Instead, I found it under the Christmas tree later that year, neatly wrapped and patiently waiting to take me on a cosmic, superhero-charged journey of The Matrix against a bald and muscular alien.
Sure, it wasn't as good as the others, but it was still Saints Row through and through, even if you were now the president of a country that had been erased from orbit. I've played this game a lot, just like I have all the others, and I'd be as happy now to get a Saint Row from Saint Nicholas under the tree as I was ten years ago.
PS. Santa told me in confidence that the Penetrator is his favorite toy of all time.
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What a player would have received for Christmas in 2004
2004 was an amazing year for video games, especially if you had them under the tree.
