The Surprising Benefits of Having Godzilla as a Roommate

Ah, Godzilla. King of Monsters. City destroyer. Kaiju fighter. No one in their right mind looks at this behemoth of destructive power and thinks, “Hey, you know what, I bet I could live with that. Sharing the price of rent with a city wrecker wouldn't be so bad.” You'd think that you simply can't live with a giant destructive monster in your house, but after thinking about the logistics of kaiju apartment living, a thought comes to mind. Why not?

One by one, the benefits began to outweigh the negatives. I have become a believer in kaiju coexistence. I saw the truth. This, my fellow players, kaiju fans, and morbidly curious viewers, is my complete list of arguments for why living with Godzilla is not only theoretically possible in a universe where Godzilla is real, but completely and totally a good idea, never mind what my opinion is. says the wife.

6

Lower costs

Who will say no?

Here's the deal. Nobody, and I mean it Nobody, he'll want to get on Godzilla's bad side. All that needs to happen for you to get the best deals you've ever had for next to nothing in monthly payments is one sentence: “I can guarantee that Godzilla will not destroy your home or business if you secure/lease this living space to us for a very low price…”

Some people might call it a threat, but the way I see it, Godzilla is a kaiju, he would still terrorize the city every now and then. Is it fraudulent to scare your supplier into renting or insuring half the price of everyone else in a mutually beneficial deal? I guess so, but that begs the question: who is going to try to do something about it?

5

Lots of space

If it's good for Godzilla, it has to be pretty big, right?

Roommate means you share a living space, of course, and any living space fit for Godzilla has to be absolutely enormous. If you're tired of cramped college dorms and small city apartments, consider rooming with a kaiju in the future for an easy size upgrade at no additional cost.

Of course, there might be some downsides to Godzilla sharing a space with you, no matter how big, but who's going to complain about a giant living space? Imagine the echo you'd hear in the hallways, the daily exercise you'd get by running two and a half miles to the bathroom every morning, or the amount of stuff you could store in there. The possibilities are endless.

4

Amazing dorm parties

For those who have the courage to show up

Okay, delete it, who it isn't show up at a giant monster party in a giant house? I would go there and I never go to parties. I never do anything, I write about video games for a living. I would be at That party though, that's for sure. Godzilla might not be able to participate in beer pong or darts, but he provides some pretty sick lighting thanks to those glowing spikes on his back, and if you can get him to tap his foot to the music playing, you officially have the best bass system in the world.

If bass so loud you literally can't stop jumping is your thing, you love the idea of ​​throwing the biggest parties in town, or you're just morbidly curious what would happen if a group of people got dangerously close to the enormous legs of Godzilla, you found yourself a good roommate in King of the Monsters.

3

Free heating

Radiation poisoning is just the thing for those cold winter nights

Heated blankets are truly one of life's great miracles, aren't they? If you live in a particularly warm part of the world, this benefit may be lost, but if snow falls in the winter you're in, you know how convenient free natural heating really is.

Is it also true that Godzilla's natural heat comes from extremely high levels of radiation? Oh yes, absolutely, but it's a problem that your future will have to deal with, and your future is very responsible and above all, so I'm sure they can find a solution.

You can also say goodbye to ovens, microwaves and air fryers. Godzilla's spines and atomic breath do it all! Fry up a burger at twelve in the morning, curl up next to Goji's incredible tail for a warm nap or a good night's sleep, enjoy the thrill of frozen dinners without having to own a microwave, or visit the common area of ​​the dorms to heat up your lunch. The sky is the limit when it comes to this benefit.

2

Top quality services

Constant remodeling means constant updates

Godzilla is always monitored. Big deal, I say. Big tech companies already track everyone all the time, and at least if you live next door to a giant kaiju you can know for sure that your search history isn't the most important thing to look at in the house, right? Some may balk at the publicity that comes with it, but you know what other being constantly assisted by the government usually means? Top notch services, darling!

Government-provided facilities would constantly be destroyed and replaced by virtue of the presence of a giant monster in the building, but the infinite improvements to the building mean you'll never have to worry about replacing them yourself, AND you will never have to deal with obsolete technology! Good morning feds, yes, put that new smart washing machine over there, please.

1

One of those friendships about how to train your dragon's core

He's not toothless, but he'll have to

No matter what others say, this will always be the best advantage in my eyes. Who could forget watching Hiccup befriend Toothless in How to Train Your Dragon and then secretly wish that they too could befriend a fantastical scale creature of some kind and go on heroic adventures together?

While the physical benefits have their merits, of course, the befriending giant monsters part has to be the most appealing. We actually got a decent look at what kaiju friendship would be like recently with the Monsterverse's Godzilla x Kong movies, although those were more about what friendship with Kong would be like than a friendship with the big G himself. If that depiction is anything to go off of, actually earning Godzilla's trust would take a while, but once earned, that bond would be unbreakable and lead to the kind of adventures we can only dream of in our kaiju-less world.