James Weir recaps Farmer Wants A Wife finale: Guy chooses girl mates trashed

A Farmer Wants A Wife stockman ignores all warnings at Monday’s final vow ceremony and chooses the girl his mates completely trashed – a decision that will no doubt lead to many fun interactions when they repeatedly run into each other everyday for eternity because they live in a one-street town.

Farmer Todd is sacrificing his friends for Daisy. And for him, Daisy is sacrificing her stake in the Townsville gym franchise she recently bought into.

If that’s not love, what is?

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Todd is giddy about Daisy. He can’t wait for this show to be over so they can start enjoying their small town life together. Line dancing on a Thursday night down at The Grand Royal pub. Perusing the new selection of kerosene lamps at Target Country. Collecting the food ration parcels that get dropped from the sky by helicopter once a month.

He smiles to himself as he imagines cuddling in bed together while giggling about the drama that’s going down in the local CWA Facebook group (those ladies get messy in the comments).

But first, before any of that can happen, he has to dump someone. What’s her name? We don’t know. Neither does Farmer Todd. None of us were aware of her existence until this episode. We will call her curly haired girl.

Uh-oh! Who’s Farmer Todd gonna pick? We’re on the edge of our seats! Daisy or curly haired girl? It’s honestly anyone’s game! OK, it’s not. But producers have already lost too many contestants in early exits this season and they threaten to use Farmer Todd’s bore water tank as a toilet if he runs off with Daisy ahead of schedule.

Farmer Todd heads on up to Townsville to meet Daisy’s family. But we’re more interested in seeing the gym franchise she decided to open the day before she flew out to the farm to be on this show.

We have many questions. None of them are related to membership contracts. Is Daisy prepared to throw away her Far North Queensland fitness empire so soon? It’s not as if she can run it remotely from the outback. It’s extremely humid in Townsville – who the hell’s gonna wipe all the sweat off the equipment?

Daisy knows Todd’s mates don’t like her. Mainly because they told her directly to her face. They said she reminded them of Todd’s crazy ex. Then they called her “masculine”. Country folk really have a delicate way with words. 

“I feel like life has thrown us every speed bump and mountain,” Daisy says of their love.

It has been two weeks.

“I came into this experience having just opened my gym, so it’s scary,” she sighs.

Yeah. If only you knew you’d be leaving town to film this show you actively applied for.

If Farmer Todd ignores his mates and chooses Daisy, she too faces a decision. She must choose between her head, her heart and her gymnasium. It’s a love story of Shakespearean proportions.

But first, they must clear another hurdle: Curly-haired girl. Farmer Todd jets outta Townsville to pay her an obligatory visit.

We don’t bother following him, because it’s a waste of our time.

“She’s a completely different person to my previous relationships – and they haven’t worked out, so maybe she’s the right person,” Farmer Todd tells us later.

“She’s very different to your exes,” we agree. “She has curly hair.”

When it comes time for the decision ceremony, the girls are bundled into separate D-MAX utes and chauffeured to the middle of a paddock to meet Farmer Todd.

After years of these final vow ceremonies, we can predict the outcome like a farmer can predict the weather.

First up, curly-haired girl. We gasp. She has straightened her hair.

“From the start, we’ve been a slow burn. My friends loved you from the start,” Farmer Todd tells her before choking up, probably from the stress of not being able to remember her name. “It’s been amazing to get to know you. In saying that, I’m sorry but I’ve got to follow my heart. And it’s not with you.”

Curly-haired girl is escorted to the idling D-MAX and driven away.

“It feels like a knife has just stabbed me in the heart,” she cries.

On the radio, Rihanna’s 2010 hit What’s My Name? plays.

Next up, Daisy enters the paddock. Farmer Todd takes the opportunity to remind her that she’s just like the weird ex his mates don’t like.

“I guess, your personality and characteristics are something I’ve been with in the past and it hasn’t worked out,” he winces. “I know you are your own woman – but I guess it does make me wonder … Will this end up going down the same road?”

He then insults her.

“You’ve said you are a big risk, and I agree,” he declares.

Um, ouch.

“But finding love is a big risk. And I guess I’m willing to take the risk with you. I’m definitely falling in love with you.”

Daisy kisses the man she has fallen for in just two weeks. We’re sure Farmer Todd’s friends have nothing to worry about. We just hope the camera crew stays around long enough to film them all running into each other on Thursday night at line dancing.

Facebook: @hellojamesweir

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